Feelings of being lost, alone, unsure, unaware of how much we are loved is a plague that is spreading.
In the past few days, I've come across several individuals who may be residents of mine, co-workers,supervisors who have said;
"I feel so alone"
"I feel like I've lost myself"
"I just want to be loved for who I am".
I remember only a few months ago feeling the exact same way; terrified that if anyone knew me, TRULY knew ME, that I'd be rejected, abandoned and unloved. Sure I considered myself an "open" person, with "open" meaning: only-the-areas-I-was-willing-to-share. And yet on the inside, I had deep hurts and secret areas that I fearfully kept close to me and closed off to anyone else.
I've had to be courageous (and terrified, I might add) enough to be open not only to the Lord about these rooms-that-were-locked-away in my heart, but also be willing to be open to myself and an accountability partner. As I've slowly stepped into true open &honest living, I've found not only a freedom I've never known existed but also that people have responded exactly opposite of what I feared.
You know why?
Because everyone is broken and has issues. Period.
Last night Brian Weiler was going through Psalm 139:14-15
"I praise you because I am
fearfully and wonderfully made,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I
was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together
in the depths of the Earth"
The first thing is the concept that Brian continued to point to
which is not just that we are fearfully and wonderfully made but that we KNOW THIS FULL WELL.
As Damon Adcock has said, "so many times the proclamation of our mouth does not echo our heart"
Secondly the word woven stuck out to me; it brought this image of the Lord sitting in a recliner in Heaven just knitting away little Mary Catherine, little Anna, little Hal, little Kim,etc.
(ok so maybe the Lord doesn't have a hobby of knitting, but I don't believe it's far from the truth...)
Webster's defines WOVEN as: "to form by combining various elements or details into the connected whole; to introduce as an element or details into a connected whole"
The original scripture says that we were "curiously wrought" which literally translates to embroidered.
The Hebrew word רקם râqam - means to deck with color, to variegate. Hence, it means to variegate a garment; to weave with threads of various colors. With us the idea of embroidering is that of working various colors on a cloth by a needle. The Hebrew word, however, properly refers to the act of "weaving in" various threads - as now in weaving carpets. The reference here is to the various and complicated tissues of the human frame - the tendons, nerves, veins, arteries, muscles, "as if" they had been woven, or as they appear to be curiously interweaved. No work of tapestry can be compared with this; no art of man could "weave" together such a variety of most tender and delicate fibres and tissues as those which go to make up the human frame, even if they were made ready to his hand: and who but God could "make" them? (http://bible.cc/psalms/139-15.htm)
How could we ever doubt our worth, with the Creator of the Universe sat in his "weaving chair" (umm creative license!) and tediously weaved every part of YOU.
You are so special.
You are so unique.
He took the moments to place every freckle, every hair, every desire, every personality characteristic.
When I was little, I asked my mama "where was I before I was born?", she responded with "you were in God's plans". So from then on I went around saying "before I was born, I was in God's plants"
Maybe I wasn't so far off from the truth, because I kind of adore the imagery of being a little plant that is so tediously cared for & nurtured until I was ready for the world and the world was ready for me.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart..."
(Jeremiah 1:5)
"Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Don't be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows"
(Luke 12:7)
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