This past week a Pastor from California committed suicide just three weeks after returning to his congregation following a sabbatical meant to address his mental health. I posted an article about this a friend of mine commented that this incident had shaken her faith because if a Pastor couldn't "defeat" mental illness than how could anyone else?
Her comment has been heavy on my heart for the past few days because how many times do we have expectations of certain people or people groups in thinking that they should somehow be exempt from mental illness or suicidality? It's in this thinking that the problem lives.
Assumptions. We make assumptions about people lives. We make assumptions about how they are handling certain struggles or how they will handle certain challenges in the future. Assumptions are dangerous but what's a more dangerous thought pattern is when we put expectations on people that cause them to live on a pedestal in our minds.
I think my friend brought to light the root of this issues, that we often think only certain people struggle and others don't or can't.
Recently, I had someone approach me and tell me that my life on social media looks so fun. I told my husband about this and we laughed but I also wanted to cry because this person has no idea what I'm actually walking through but are making an assumption based on the limited information I share online. They have no idea I'm in counseling or that I've had thoughts of self harm in the past. They have no idea what my husband and I have been walking through physically. Simple put, they have no idea. I don't fault this person, I just found it an interesting statement that further sheds light on our tendency as humans to make assumptions.
What assumptions are you making that are potentially detrimental to you right now? What narrative have you made up in your mind about the people around you that is causing you to feel poorly about yourself?
I once heard a quote that stated "there are a thousand different versions of you in peoples' minds". What a concept that people are walking around making up narratives about you just like you are about them.
We have to stop this narrative that anyone is exempt from suicidal ideations. I once had a supervisor say "everyone has suicidal thoughts at some point in their life, some just have them stick". And that's true.
Stop making assumptions.
Stop comparing.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
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