10 Years.

Through the whirlwind which is an engagement and wedding within a 5-month time frame, I've been seeking to tell bits and pieces of our story through this in attempt to encourage people. However, through this, several people who have known me for a while have encouraged me to tell just how big this story goes for me. So, here it is. Here's how the Creator of the Universe weaved the last 10 years to bring me to marrying the one whom I love on May 21st, 2017. 

When applying for colleges in 2006, I wanted to go to USC because as I was comparing myself to those around me I felt it important to go to a huge University so that I could be like everyone else. Well guess what? I got wait-listed. So I decided that the next best thing would be USC Upstate. When applying to USC Upstate, in the throws of feeling convinced I would earn a degree in theatre, I decided to audition for an acting scholarship. Horray! I got it and it was because I got it that I landed a lead role in a play, which is where I met Somer (remember her, she'll come up later)....

Freshmen year I met a lot of great people who I still keep up with via social media but I was hung up on a high school fling so I decided to move back to Columbia, attend a technical college and "intern" (work for free) at the church I had been attending for several years. Well, that wasn't the most fun year but it was that year that I took my first Psychology class and realized that I wanted to be in the mental health profession. It was also that year that I got a job at a local Italian restaurant that was opening a location in Myrtle Beach. So, like the 19 year old that I was, I decided to move (against my parents' will) to Myrtle Beach to live the beach life, work with my crush (surprise surprise I had a crush on a guy who trained at my store but would be working at the Myrtle Beach store) and finally be "an adult" (*insert eye roll*).  I spent 2008 until 2011 in Myrtle Beach and it was some of the best and worst years of my life. I got involved in a local church, realized that I was capable of leading worship (after being told I wasn't good enough), decided to major in Psychology in order to be in the mental health field, met one of my Matrons of Honor and grew a tremendous amount as a woman.    

             Unfortunately, this is also the part of the story that I tell you that during those years I met a boy who would have more of a mark on my life than I would care to admit. 

While I met this guy in 2009 and he pursued me hard even then, I didn't let him take me on a date on the beginning of 2011. At that point I had spent all of my college years waiting and praying for a future husband, not dating at all. And I was done. I figured I might as well date and have fun (*insert another eye roll*).  Well this relationship went down and it went down fast. What started as sweet morphed into a controlling and emotionally abusive relationship (and while I'm breezing through this part, it's only for the sake of time). I finally got out of that relationship (or so I thought) at the end of 2011 when I moved back to Columbia and accepted a job in Dallas, TX.

January 2012 I got rid of my car, gave away my dog and boarded a one-way plane to Dallas to live in an unfurnished apartment in a city where I knew two people. I would be working for Christ for The Nations and had so much hope that just as Kari Job had emerged from there, so would I emerge into my destiny. Looking back, I did emerge from there. I just didn't emerge how I imagined I would but seeing it now I realize this too was a pivotal part of my destiny. It didn't take longer than 6ish weeks for me to lose my job with this organization, pack up my belongings and with shame head back to live with my parents.

This next part is painful, but keep reading because it's key!

It didn't take long for the shame and embarrassment that I felt from a failed adventure to manipulate me into leaving my family to live with the same man who manipulated me during our relationship. Somehow I imagined that it would be better to be with someone who "loved" me (oh the naivete!) than to face my parents in their home when I felt I had let them down. The next 10 months I spent back in Myrtle Beach back and forth in a tumultuous and destructive relationship feeling lost and missing my family ( I chose to have limited contact due to shame). Finally, in October of 2012 when the abuse had escalated from emotional and controlling behavior to throwing chairs at me and threatening to slit my throat, I packed up what could fit in my tiny car and moved back in with my parents. Two days before I moved, I started a journal to my future husband.

When I moved back to Columbia I didn't have a job nor did I have any sense of direction, so here enters my best friend since 9th grade, Elysse, to get me a seasonal job at a photography studio in the mall. Luckily for me, this mall had a Starbucks which I began to frequently visit which is how I reconnected with Somer! Remember her? I had met her 6 years prior! After spending time with Somer and giving that Starbuck a decent chunk of my paycheck, Somer informed me that one of her employees was a musician at a local church and was looking for a female worship leader. The church was Columbia Church...

In October of 2012 I began writing a journal to my future husband (which I have added entries into over the past 4+ years) not even realizing that I would meet my future husband in January 2013 

(though we didn't even speak more than 5 words to each other until August 2014 and then a lot of other stuff happened that was good and bad but that's for another time....). 

I say all of this to say that since I was 15 I believed that the person I was to marry was alive and breathing somewhere in the world. Since I was 15 (though I wasn't always diligent about it) I prayed for the mysterious man where ever he was). Since I was 15 I encouraged others around me to wait for the one who cherishes you. And now, on the other side I can see how over 10 years the Creator of the Universe weaved the most beautiful story out of such hardship for me. I can see how little details like meeting Somer or desperately needing a job or moving to Myrtle Beach to learn how to lead worship so I could lead worship at Columbia Church to meet Robbie....I can see how He truly does work all things together for His glory. 

If I had never been put on USC's waiting list...

If I'd never had a crush on that guy to move to Myrtle Beach...

If I'd never been rejected from two graduate programs...

If I'd never been let go from Christ for the Nations...

If I'd never been so broken that I had to move home...

If I'd never needed a job....

Be encouraged today. Destiny is just getting started!