when things aren't in my timing.

like many people on this day,I tend to spend at least a small chunk of time in order to reflect and to check my heart and plans before the Lord. (plus looking through old journals is an interesting experience) I came across a scripture in the beginning of Titus and thought it was perfectly fitting for today; because life, relationships, plans, dreams, desires often do not  go as we  had expected them to.

think back to a time when you felt left behind,

 whether it be in comparison to those around you or

 in thinking that the Creator of the Universe 

has forgotten to move you into a new season. 

God, have we been forgotten? no. nothing done by the Lord is reckless, aimless or without love and purpose.

"For this reason I left you in Crete,

that you should set in order the things

that are lacking and appoint elders in every 

city as I commanded you"

(Titus 1:5)

there are a few things about this that are painful and difficult for me personally to digest.

1. everything from the Lord is for a reason and ultimately out of love.

2. I will not progress from one "season" unto another until I have grasped, learned and done everything I was called to fulfill within that season.

3. if I feel "left behind" in a season, I have to check myself and see what it is that the Lord wants me to address within myself, asking, what do You have for me to learn?

4. just as the Lord promises to fulfill His word and His promises, He expects us to complete whatever it is that He has commanded us to do, asking, what do You have for me to do?

5. He loves me enough to not move me until I am complete in Him, even when I get angry or frustrated with Him.

with my best interest in mind,  

He wants me to enter

each season

 "not self-willed, not quick tempered...

not violent, not greedy for money,

but hospitable, a lover of what is good,

sober-minded (defined as 'having self control')...

holding fast the faithful for as He has been taught"

(Titus 1:7-9)

It is not necessarily a pleasant experience to choose

to reflect on your own heart and realize 

that you may not have moved to a new season or 

chapter because of yourself.

take heart.

you haven't been LEFT BEHIND.

you &i; i are loved enough to have each

season be purposeful and to not commence

until we have gleaned all we can.

so today, I check my heart, what do I still need to learn in this season that has caused me to stay here? what have you called me to do here.

here we go 2011!