carmel machiatto in hand and a fine frenzy soothing my racing thoughts and typing fingers.
It has been a little bit of a minute since my last blog,
so I would make up for it by giving you little monsters a two-fer!
First I would like to take a minute just to look back on the year 2009, so if it's a little to much like a therapy session for you, you are welcome to skip to the next blog :)
This time last year i was LITERALLY working as a waitress in a nice restaurant and making a good bit of money off of drunk new years enthusiasts. At midnight a champagne toast was had by all as everyone embraced one another. (even those that didn't like eachother. that was probably due to the alcohol) And as I cleaned up and headed back to my parent's house that night, I was both hopeful for a new year and saddened for the closing of an old one. I'm a little bit sentimental, don't judge.
At the beginning of the year I began a job as an RA for Coastal. It was one of the situations that came about one week and I was hired the next.
At the end of the spring semester I was offered a promotion to become the Resident Director, which meant that I would supervise the RA's and be able to make decisions regarding programming, etc. (and to make a long story short---we were bought out by the school and I was no longer "qualified" for the job due to my status as a student, so now i'm the Assistant Resident Director. whatever :) )
Within the past year I moved into the cutest one bedroom apartment
(it's actually small enough to probably qualify as a closet) and accomplished a goal of living by myself; as well as "quitting" (my boss swears i'm coming back) my job as a server. (who made a billion dollars a week) I traded in my life of financial luxury to work for pork & beans at Coastal.
Through this terrifying job transition, I learned that quality of life truly is more important than money.
I learned a lot this year about setting boundaries; relational, financial and career wise.
One of the biggest things I learned was the importance of communication.
Communicating relational intentions and expectations.
Communicating work expectations and the importance of time off.
Communicating needs. To family & to friends. (don't let pride keep you from asking for what you need)
This year I took a step towards ending an unhealthy pattern of attracting "wounded birds". I can't fix you and I can't save you.
This year I stood up for myself. I learned that you truly will go around a mountain as many times as it takes for you to learn what He wants you to.
So to the guy with the long hair & the one with the soul patch---it took me getting to the one with all the red flags to finally say that it's not ok to use me as a band-aid for your hurts. I'm not the one you use until the next one comes, I'm worth more.
I also learned something within myself. That if you say "i'm not dating" or "i'm being selective"--then I need to keep my word. it's not alright to say to someone that you don't want it to turn into anything, but act otherwise because you think you've covered your butt.
Last but certainly not least, I spent this year realizing that I have not been called to live the rest of my life caring my eating disorder as if it were my cross to bear. I have been called to be free.(and so have YOU, silly rabbit) And with everyday, it is another victory.
Within all the chaos, the fear and the tears that seemed to flow through-out this past year, I was reminded of the faithfulness of our Lord.
Don't worry, our Father really WILL take care of you. Even if it's through unconventional means, kind of like being the Chick-fil-A cow mascot :)
"Look at the birds in the sky! They don't plant or harvest. They don't even store grain in barns. Yet your Father in heaven takes care of them. Aren't you worth more than birds?"
[matthew 6:26]
i face 2010 with courage and perseverance.
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