SHAME (an excerpt from "Captivating")

last night i spoke on the subject of shame with the ladies of Collide at Beach Church. (cue scary music!)


i referenced the book CAPTIVATING by john & stasi elderedge, click on the link and under "contents" click on "contents" and read the chapter entitled "THE WOUND".

Captivating EXCERPT!

remember, "the lie is that if people really knew you they wouldn't love you, the truth is that if people really knew you then they could actually love you" (Jon Acuff)

guilt weighs a million pounds and lust gives me the heeby-jeebies.

in a few weeks, the guys and girls in our youth group will be splitting up to continue a study of SEX and LUST.

SEX AND LUST.SEX AND LUST.SEX AND LUST.SEX AND LUST.SEX AND LUST.SEX AND LUST. SEX AND LUST. SEX AND LUST. SEX AND LUST. SEX AND LU... what? oh sorry, I got caught up in repeating the words over and over so you wouldn't be so uncomfortable with them anymore. (hey, it's better than shouting out body parts like i do with my small group girls!)

when we split up, I get the awesome opportunity to speak to entire population of young women about LUST.

L------------U-------------S-----------------T.  (the word kind of gives me the heeby-jeebies)

I'm going to be talking about the BEAST that lust is, and the fact that once that pandora's box has been opened it never dies, but rather you have to keep it under control. I remember being in highschool, making out in a car (in a parking lot, SO CLASSY!)and my body letting me know that it liked where things were heading. (though my spirit knew otherwise!!) Then out of now where, a MONSTER was released and LUST began to consume my thoughts, my actions and soon my relationship with my boyfriend. ( by the way, we were both youth leaders in the church. they do NOT give immunity shots for lust!)

ultimately the relationship ended because our relationship began to revolve around rushing through dates so we could make out in a parking lot somewhere. once I got out of this relationship, I figured I was in the clear of this monster. but I was unbelievable wrong.

I once heard someone say, "if you can't tame lust when you are in a dating relationship, who is to say that you will be able to not lust after someone other than your spouse when you ARE married. lust doesn't discriminate and lust doesn't know when you are married."

I am fast approaching 23 and it has been nearly 5 years since that relationship ended. And let me tell you, not only do I regret opening the pandora's box known as lust; before even that, I regret the sleepovers my best friend and I had where we snuck copies of COSMO'S SEX TIPS and read them together giggling. We truly thought this was harmless, and yet years later she and I both mentioned to each other that the decision to fixate on these seemingly harmless magazine articles have made staying celibate until marriage even more of a daunting task than it already is. ( i mean seriously, this IS 2011.)

In researching for this message I will be sharing with the girls and reminiscing on my past and current one-on-one-boxing-matches-with-lust, I came across a scripture that is truly the basis of not only my message to the girls, but Christ's message to YOU.

"Then I acknowledged my sin to You

and did not cover up my iniquity,

I will confess my transgressions to the Lord

 and You forgave the guilt of my sin"

(Psalm 32:5)

not only are our sins forgiven,

but He also forgives our guilt.

a synonym for forgive  is to exonerate, which means to be set free.

it is only within the past year 

that I have truly come to terms

with the concept of not only having my sins forgiven,

but also that

 I am NOT called to carry guilt.

because guilt weighs a millions pounds.

living a "bare-minimum" life

sometimes i take easy way out in my relationships and daily interactions in general. 
most of the time it's a lot easier to sleep in rather than meet small group girls for a 7:00 am breakfast  (when you don't have a meeting until 11:00). most of the time it's easier and more comfortable to plan personal time in lieu of having coffee with someone who needs a non-judgemental ear.


what a shame that i can tend to leave such a self-centered life. do i not realize that these moments i'm living are merely a season and i won't ever have THIS time and THESE relationships EXACTLY AS THEY ARE ever again.  if i truly grasped this wouldn't i live each day in desperate, passionate, fervent pursuit of every person who came across my path?


if i'm not careful, i realize that i'm living a bare-minimum life. 

"you will be ever hearing but never understanding,

you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.

for this people's heart has become calloused;

they hardly hear with their ears,

and they have closed their eyes.

otherwise they might see with their eyes,

hear with their ears,

understand with their hearts

and turn and i would heal them"

(matthew 13:14-15)

i never want it said of me that i heard,

but was never understanding.

that i heard but was never able to

  hear in between the lines and understand

i never want it said of me that i saw,

but never perceived.

that i was shallow in view of other people

and their circumstances.

i was challenged today to not live a shallow, self-centered, bare-minimum life.

dig deeper today, this is the only MARCH 8,2011 that we will ever have.

get outside of yourself!

"be very careful then,

 how you live-not as unwise but as wise,

 making the most

of every opportunity"

(ephesians 5:16)