"The wise in heart accept commands..." (Proverbs 10:8)
So here it is, the conclusion of "the One with all the Red Flags".
It not unusual for me to not understand things. For instance:
What is the purpose of snakes?
Why does Donald Trump continue to comb over that mess?
Why when you text someone, do they then think it's ok to CALL you?
So in addition to this list, I never understood the phrase "thank God for
un-answered prayer". What? Why are we thanking Him for
That is, I didn't understand it until the past year.
I had set all the signs in such a way that it was "clear to me" that this
gentlemen could indeed be the "One" for me. So as I sought the Lord, I was
really simply seeking the Lord to do what I wanted Him to do.
"delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"
(psalm 37:4)
I took it upon myself to interepret this verse to say that as the Lord saw meseeking after Him, He would continue to intertwine my heart with this "One with
all the Red Flags".
But here's what I failed to realize, I wasn't a Beauty that was being pursued or that was fascinating to this gentleman; but rather I was a band-aid.
I poured encouragement, gifts, time and parts of my life into him. And it was
all a band-aid that was healing his wound from his last relationship. I was the
lay-over in between flights. I was the temporary.
Band-Aid /ˈbændˌeɪd/a makeshift, limited, or temporary aid or solution that does not satisfy the basic or long-range need.
"I have seen far too many young men commit a kind of emotional promiscuity with a young woman. He will pursue her, not to offer his strength but to drink from her beauty, to be affirmed by her and feel like a man. They will share deep, intimate conversations. But he will not commit, he is unable to commit" (Wild at Heart)
Let me clarify by saying that a relationship of any kind involves two people, so I certainly played a part in this. I allowed myself to overlook red flags and to continue to invest against the tugging in my Spirit. I also made a mistake that many people make, I didn't listen to the wisdom of strategic people in my life.
The phone rang and it was him calling, I stepped away from what I was doing, feeling eager & excited to speak with him. Was he calling about the next sci-fi film we'd go see? Or what about the latest band he'd found.
No.
My heart slowed to barely a beat as my knees gave way for me to find myself seat on the sidewalk, as he told me that he was nervous about asking an friend of mine of a date. He said he'd been attracted to her for a while. He said it must have been God leading Him to feel so urgent about her. ( I could write a novel about my opinion of the last statement, but nevermind!)
The weeks and months that followed were a time of mourning and regrouping. During this time I wept through several pints of Chunky Monkey and cheesy Lifetime Movies. But at the end of the season, I learned to stand up for myself.
In addition to a couple of priceless lessons;
First is that you should never have to find ways to make something fit or make sense.
Secondly, you should never have to focus on over-looking negatives.
Thirdly, you are to be pursued as a woman. You are to be with someone who can't imagine his life without you. Who appreciates every aspect of you.
And lastly, looking for and paying attention to Red Flags will save tons of heartache.
"I will give you what you asked for!
I will give you a wise and understanding heart
such as no one else has had or ever will have! "
(1 Kings 3:12)
Posts
