Reality TV, Infants and Jesus.

I cannot tell a lie, I love reality TV. (even if it's more like scripted television just with less airbrushing)  I also enjoy semi-reality shows like "Unwrapped", showing the origin of some of our favorite foods; or "How It's Made", showing how every day & extraordinary things are made. I enjoy researching, google-ing and generally figuring things out. Thus I've been going back to basics in regards to my relationship with the Creator. 

What I've found are some foundations for my relationship with Him based upon Isaiah 43:10:

"So that you may know and believe me 

and understand that I am He"

Know: in Hebrew: Yada: 

(this word in Hebrew has a TON of definitions so I chose a few key ones)

"to know intimately, to recognize ,

[God] to be revealed"

Believe: Aman: 

"to trust in, rely upon"

* when you examine the verb pattern in Hebrew,

Aman  expresses the basic   concept of support

and is used in the sense of a parent supporting a helpless infant*

Understand: Tavun:

"the verbal root (Banah) means to build,

so in order to build or construct something, 

we must be able to understand the process"

It's becoming obvious to me that in my quiet time, there is a theme that keeps appearing: recognizing the work of the Lord in my life:  depending on Him entirely and understanding His love so that I don't get discouraged with my process. When you feel like you've continually been stripped (whether due to poor choices or life happenings) the only thing you can do is seek to the see the greater process at work in order to preserve your sanity.

In short, I believe that this day and every day the Lord desires that we work to be able to recognize him, rely on him like an infant would a parent and seek to understand the process we are walking through in order to understand what He is building and designing in us.

" For everything, absolutely everything,

above and below, visible and invisible...

everything got started in him 

and finds its purpose in Him"

Colossians 1:16 (MSG)

"You repair all that we have torn

and You unveil a new beginning in our hearts

and we stand grateful for all that has been

left behind and all

that goes before us""

(" Mended")

Bert and Ernie

"Guess who's back, back again..."

MC's back! tell a friend!

I want a friend like Bert and Ernie were friend; they were always there for each other and for goodness sake Ernie was comfortable enough for Bert to see him while in the tub with his rubber ducky! (hold the jokes)

I believe the heart of the Creator in designing each of us was designing us with the innate need to have friendships and not just friendships but intentional, deep friendships. We were never created to be wolf packs of one.

The Word provides multiple great examples of intentional friendships but I wanted to focus on two:

David & Jonathan

Noah & his sons

I believe covenant (unconditional)  friendships (relationships in general) are made up of two things:

1. Vulnerability

2.Grace & Favor

Let me show you how I've come to this conclusion. In 1 Samuel 18:3-4 you see the friendship of Jonathan & David modeled which becomes a great model for the type of relationship we were designed to have. You see Jonathan first show incredible grace and favor to David.

" And Jonathan made a covenant with David

because he love him as himself.  

Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing 

and gave it to David, 

along with his tunic"

(verses 3-4)

David was in no way royalty (at this point in time)

and did not deserve this robe that signified royalty.

I believe relationships (all types) go through

ebbs and flows; at some point one partner 

is pouring into the other and vice versus.

Because Jonathan loved David as himself,

he identified an opportunity to show him grace & favor.

Now onto the part of relationships (friendship or otherwise) that is most difficult for most people, including myself: vulnerability. This is a personal struggle for me because it's always a piece of cake to be around people when life is peaches and cream, but when I'm covered in mud and struggling I usually keep to myself. We make deeper connections with people when we let them see our pain; our fear is that they couldn't love us if they really knew us when in fact because they really know us they can love really love us. 

In Genesis 9:20-23  you see Noah, obviously a man of 

greatness and great accomplishment (a freaking ark!!!); but like us,

his life and choices sometimes got messy.

We see in these verses that Noah drank some wine and  

proceeded to get drunk to the point where he laid

down in his tent NAKED AS A JAY BIRD.

In that moment he was vulnerable and because of the 

relationship he had established with his sons,

instead of pointing out his vulnerability it says

"But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid

it across  their shoulders; then they walked in backward

and covered their father's nakedness"

(verse 23)

We see Jonathan's vulnerability with David in verse 4, 

" [he gave] even his sword".  

In that day, it was unusual for a man to be without his weapon, 

his source of protection and yet Jonathan became vulnerable before David. 

I want to be a friend who shows 

grace, favor & vulnerability,

so that my relationships will be all 

that they were intended to be.

I don't want superficial friendships,

I want intentional ones.

the parable of the taxi driver

During my recent adventures, I got to do something I've yet to do: ride in a taxi. And during this taxi ride, I was reminded of what God desperately wants from us.

but first.....

I would like to acknowledge that I AM the person who

tries to get to know my waitress while dining at a restaurant

and I AM the person who talks to the cashier at the grocery;

I have been made fun of for all this but now you'll see why...

As I buckled my seatbelt, the taxi driver turned to me and asked if the music he was playing was ok to play with me in the vehicle or if I'd like him to change it. He was playing southern gospel, my pappy would have been proud.

Now I mean no offense or harm but "I saw the light", "In the sweet by and by" and "when I get to heaven" aren't exactly what tickles my musical taste buds; but I saw the heart behind this taxi driver, HE didn't want to offend ME.

It was clear this man and I were going to have an interesting time while together because I could barely understand him and I think he couldn't understand me at all. (all this time I thought I didn't have a southern accent...) At some point during the ride it came up that I work for Christ for the Nations Institute, and as I'm learning, here in the Christian communities in Texas people are well aware of CFNI.

He asked what I do ("do you have a title or importance?") and I said that I worked getting international students in the country to attend CFNI and keeping all their paperwork to KEEP them here. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if this man heard me considering he was BELTING out every lyric that played; but oh he heard me. He became overjoyed and said "that's GREAT that's GREAT! God will bless you for helping people come here". 

I asked this man if he attended a church and he said that he and his family went to an Indian Pentecostal Church. (now that's a first, ever heard of one of those?!)

Something my parents have started doing is asking

their server at restaurants if there is anything they can

pray for them about. So in this moment, I felt

led to ask this taxi driver if there was anything

I could pray for him about.

You know what he said? He had failed the bar exam and was taking it again in July.

Did you hear that? 

This taxi driver was an educated man who went to

 law school in India and was taking the bar exam again

 to practice law here in Texas.

you don't know ANYTHING about someone

until you ask.

EVERYONE has a dream,

and like you & I,

EVERYONE has spent

time doing something that wasn't

their "dream" during the waiting

period.

The story ends with me praying for this man right there 

in his car, and as I prayed for him

it was precious to me that he began

to cry out to God in both his

native tongue and in English.

So make fun of me for talking to my waiter,  or the cashier or the nail tech.

But if we don't show the Love of God, who will?

If we don't pause our daily lives to inquire about others,

are we showing the Love of Christ?

"no one has ever seen God,

but if we love one another,

God lives in us and His love

is made complete in us"

1 John 4:12  

how to set your cubicle on fire.

sometimes you just have frustrating days at work, school, home, etc...


yesterday was one of those days. most times you can't even pinpoint ONE THING you are getting frustrated with, it just all seems to jump on your back like a barrel of rabid monkeys.


when I got home last night, it was all I could do to hang my coat up before breaking into a
 snotty-crying-(as dane cook would call it)-"i did my best"-pity party.


I was upset about something I think is quite common,
 I felt forgotten and insignificant.

Like the children of Israel, 

I was delivered  and set free 

into this new season and I haven't 

even been here a week and I was 

upset about all I felt I gave up coming here.

*side note: I am more free now with no 

furniture than I ever felt when I was

living "my own life" and felt I had everything.

"was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? what have you done to us by bringing us out Egypt? ...it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert" (Exodus 14:11-12)

 Did God have me give up a comfortable place using my gifts and being affirmed on regular basis to work in a cubicle being frustrated by tons of information I don't understand nor truly have a passion for?!

NO.

So HERE is how to set your cubicle on fire:

(or your house, your desk, your deep fryer)

go into it today and think:

1. Who was here before me?

2. Who will be here after me?

3. Am I stupid for thinking God doesn't know what He is doing?

(YES!)

Let me tie this all together:

I may be sitting in cubicle working 

through mounds and mounds of international

paperwork, but WHERE

am I sitting?

The ministry I work for

is the birth place of Kari Jobe 

and more specifically her most famous song,

"Revelation Song".

God didn't bring me hear to die, or to smother my gifts & talents

under a pile of I-20s, I-539s and I-90s!

You aren't flipping burgers because God doesn't care about your dream,

you are there BECAUSE of the plans God has for you: 

it is THERE that God will either

a) teach you something vital to your destiny

b)connect you with someone who will launch you into your destiny

c) all of the above!

Go set your 

cubicle,

home,

desk,

fry station,

on fire today by purposing to see what 

God IS doing

what God HAS done

and what God WILL do through and after you.

by the way,

I saw an interview last night

where Kari Jobe originally turned down

"revelation song" the first time she heard

it . what if she hadn't given it 

a second chance and seen it through 

God's eyes?

 

parable of being a whore

it is STUPID crazy to think of just how different a year ago  was.
it's stupid crazy to think of what i've walked through this year with Jesus...and even some without Him...


I've spent some time as a whore, and whether you recognize it or not...so have YOU.

let me explain...

did you know that the Dictionary defines a whore or prostitute as two things: (besides the definition we already know)

1. a person who willingly uses his or her 

talent or ability in abase and unworthy way,

 usually for money.

2.to put to any base or unworthy use: 

to prostitute one's talents.

another version of this definition says

"to put oneself to an unworthy use"

do you hear that?

 when we don't see ourselves as God sees us,

when we put ourselves to an unworthy use,

when we don't use our gifts to the fullest ability,

we are being a whore.

but you know what? the Lord is the ultimate builder and restorer. 

but in order to restore something, it must first be in pieces.

" I will pour her stones into the valley

and lay bare her foundations.

all her idols will be broken to pieces

all her temple gifts will be burned with fire.

i will destroy all her images.

Since she gathered her 

gifts [possessions] from the wages of prostitution .."

(micah 1:6-7)

i don't know where you are but here is where I am:

I feel like I've been stripped

 of everything I've known

the past year.

But the desire of the heart of the Father 

is that we be used to our fullest potential.

He is a dreamer, a BIG one ,

who wants to see those come to past in His loves.

so sometimes we find ourselves stripped.

sometimes we feel naked and like we've lost everything we had;

relationships, finances, job security, vehicles, independence.

what have you lost?

take heart, God is wiping out all reminders of your former life in which you didn't live up to your full potential. So that He can start fresh with you. It hurts but the gain will blow your mind and cause you to not think twice about what you think you've lost.  

wait and see what you are about to gain.

what seems like wreckage now,

will one day be know as a new beginning...

parable of pruning

I'm tired.
Chritsmas Eve night I sat on the front porch and wept as my sweet car drove away, no longer belonging to me. As an isolated incident this would have been emotionally taxing but manageable...but it wasn't isolated, I was losing everything. 

you see, as my Mom has said, God can't fill your hands if they are already full & occupied. So as of currently, my hands have been emptied of all security, possessions, relationships...even my hair! (I'm a girl, we love our hair!)

Ever felt stripped? 
I'm sure you have, but in case you haven't had the pleasure let me assure you that it is painful. so very painful.

the size of the blessing and favor approaching us is

 directly related to the amount of sacrifice we are experiencing.

(my Dad)

"for before the harvest, when the blossom is over,

and the flower becomes a ripening grape. He will cut off the sprigs with pruning hooks,

and then spreading branches He will remove and cut" 

isaiah 18:5

God's strategy to get more grapes out of his branches is to cut off some. You see, His secret for more is less. As the grape-vines grow fast they are so thick that the sun can't reach the area where the fruit grows. If you don't do anything to the grape-vines they will just grow lots of leaves. From a distance they look real beautiful. But only a little fruit. That's why the gardener trims-to produce more grapes.

i know it hurts.

i know it does.

remember that before the harvest, there is pruning.

remember that before great favor is great sacrifice.

we will make it through this , you and i.

here's to moving to Dallas, TX

in less than two weeks with an

unfurnished apartment,

no car

and Jesus.

http://www.gofundme.com/MOVE-to-DALLAS

DALLAS!

this will be short entry (followed by a longer and more in depth one soon I promise!)

THE LORD IS SO FAITHFUL and after months of rejections, lack of direction and anxiety the Lord has opened an AMAZING door working full time for Christ for the Nations in DALLAS, TX!!!

the plan is to board a one-way-plane on January 4th and begin this

scary

exciting

nerve-racking

amazing

new

poop-in-my-pants

ADVENTURE!!!!!!!

now i need to catch up on the episodes of 'New Girl' that i've missed to get tips on relocating your life.... :)

http://www.gofundme.com/MOVE-to-DALLAS