the "dead".

i am OH SO tired of hearing about this "lost" or "dead" generation.


let's start with substituting the word dead for the word asleep.


" why all this commotion and wailing?
the child is not dead but asleep"
                     (mark 5:39)


we need to stop proclaiming what the generation is, and start loving them where they are.


this generation is neither dead nor lost, they are asleep.
they have fallen asleep to their true potential,
they just need to be loved without hidden agendas and
reminded of what could be.

certainty VS. uncertainty

"to be certain of God means

that we are uncertain in all our ways,

we do not know what a day may bring forth."(oswald chambers)

"You will keep in perfect peace

him whose mind is

stead·fast,        

 /ˈstɛdˌfæst, -ˌfɑst, -fəst/

–adjective
1. fixed in direction; steadily directed: a steadfast gaze.

2. firm in purpose, resolution, faith, attachment, etc., as a person: a steadfast friend.
3. unwavering, as resolution, faith, adherence, etc.

4. firmly established, as an institution or a state of affairs.
5. firmly fixed in place or position

because he trusts in You."

(isaiah 26:3)

we don't always have to understand.

we don't have to respond perfectly when things happen in life,

and we can be downright mad.

But what we are called to be is

"firm, fixed, established"

on the Lord, His heartbeat and His promise.

If we will continue to choose to focus on those three things, peace will overtake the confusion, anger, anxiety, etc etc.

I know from experience.

 " The  'how' is God's department, He asks you 'what?' 'What is written on your heart?'  "

(wild at heart)

leaving the familiar.

Sometimes there is not a "wrong" or "right answer" but simply one that is best for you; one that will ultimately help you reach your full potential.

"Don't ask yourself what the word needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because the world needs people who have come alive"  (Gil Bailie--as found in 'Wild at Heart')

This week I was thinking back to the almost three years that I've lived at the beach and what opportunities and trials that have come from it.

From this I began to think about Jesus in Luke 4 when He said "i tell you the truth, no prophet is accepted in his hometown" (Luke 4:24) I don't believe that it would have been impossible for Jesus to minister in his hometown; I also don't think ministering outside His hometown was a issue of "right" or "wrong" but rather of the best.

We don't know what would have happened if Jesus hadn't realized that He may not reach His full potential where He was; His life would have followed the same destiny but maybe He would have made as large and widespread of an impact.

What I'm NOT saying in this post:

1. No one can live in their hometown.
         I truely believe that some people are called to familiar land, because someone is called   there, right?

2. You won't reach your full potential around people you're familiar with.
        First of all, take what I say with a grain of salt because afterall I'm not a Guru of anything, I'm just a blogger. Secondly, every situation is different and every circumstance is different. (so the insights I've found may not ring true to you, or they may) Having said that, I've found over the past few years that when I left what and who was comfortable and familiar, I began to operate in giftings that I was shy or otherwise unaware of. I found that after the initial shock of moving to a place where I knew two people and was prone to getting lost in, I truly began to find out who I was and wrestled for my own salvation. So that I was not living on my parents, friends' or pastor's relationship with the Lord, but my own.  "... always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured. (colossians 4:12)

3. Leaving the familiar is a piece of cake.
        If  ever there were a sentence that were B.S., that my friends would be it. Leaving was the most difficult decision I've had to make thus far. I knew two people in myrtle beach, didn't know my roommates, was beginning a new job and was going against the "will" of some people in my life.  (caution: leaving out of rebellion is wrong. believe me, i paid the consequences)  Leaving was painful, scary, difficult, alarming, etc etc. And on top of the frightfulness of it all, there were distractions EVERYWHERE. A job opportunity if I stayed (before I left), the possibility of a relationship back home (while I was at the beach), not having money for school to stay at the beach; and my favorite of all, people with good intentions who spoke to me about "what God was saying through them to me". 
I am ALL FOR seeking wise counsel, but not from every person you know. You trust your heart and ears to a few select who you feel are wise and hear from the Lord, but most importantly you stay on your face until you feel peace either way.

Someone once told me, right before the best comes along something that is "good" comes and we are tempted to think that's the best.

Today I just want you to be brave enough to pose the question to yourself:
 "is God asking me to step out of my comfort zone in some way?" (if not, ok then!)

If He is in what way?
It could be something as simple as setting aside money each month for someone who needs it, something radical like changing jobs or changing a relationship, or maybe it's something terrifying like leaving the familiar.

But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

(Matthew 14:27-31)

dust.

it has been years, probably close to three, since i've sat down at the piano and written.
well, the creative dam has begun to break and what oozed out of my heart comes from Psalm 103:14

"For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust."


trust in the Lord;
with all my heart,
with all my understanding.
for Your understanding;
it formed the oceans,
and all of me.


Your intricate design,
is so much,
higher than mine.
i'm  a sparrow You watch over.
watch over me,
for I am,
dust.


I am a lilly,
of the valley,
that sways with You.
I set my feet,
I set my gaze,
on the waves,
You walk on.

Your intricate design,

is so much,
higher than mine.
I'm  a sparrow You watch over.
watch over me,
for I am,
dust.

(bridge)
I am dust,
You know my frame.
I've been released,
I've been redeemed,
You broke my shame.
I'm not ashamed.

Your intricate design,
is so much,
higher than mine.
I'm a child You watch over,
watch over me,
for I am dust.



I'm sharing this because I'm trudging through deep matters of the heart and I believe that as I begin to step out and show even raw parts of me; others will have the courage to begin to heal as well. plus, I was super stoked to be writing music again :)

I am weak. I fail. I'm an addict. I'm redeemed. I'm going to be singing a new song.

" O sing to the LORD a new song, For He has done wonderful things, His right hand and His holy arm have gained the victory for Him."
 (Psalm 98:1)

In the next post, I will be sharing about my personal dust.

the parable of $1.49

i was on a food lion mission: a) get ingredients for alien cupcakes. b) make sure the 7 year old and 5 year old (Victoria & Daniel)  with little shopping carts don't run into eachother, causing some sort of bodily injury or injury otherwise.

green food coloring. check.
eggs. check.
mix. check.
chocolate frosting check.
diverting multiple cart collisions within a 2.5 minute time period. check.

I headed to the check out, tired of talking to the kids about not running into eachother as "airplanes" and ready to get out of the store. As I walked up to the counter, I overheard the cashier telling the customer in front of me "it's $1.49"; the customer looked let down and headed to the soda aisle to put back a liter of Coca-Cola. The cashier yelled after the lady "I need you to bring it back here so I can scan and void the purchase", so once again the woman in her overly large and tattered black sweatshirt and sunglasses still worn to cover her eyes,had to turn back around and get the Coca Cola. At this point I was embarrassed for the customer and intriguied about the situation, I spoke quietly to the cashier and said "is she short money?"; when the cashier replied yes I ask how much the lady was short, "$1.49".  I didn't even take a breath before I said "what? I've got it." I handed over the money and the transaction was complete right as the woman was coming back with the drink in hand, thinking it was to void it.

I turned to the woman, touch her elbow and said "don't worry, I've got it." The woman lifted her glasses and said "What?" as her eyes softened and she processed what I was saying. She opened her hand and said, "I've got $.40 if you want it"; I smiled and said "no worries". She stared at me for a second or two and then said, "What's your name?" "Mary Catherine", I answered. She got closer to me and said "I'd hug you but I don't even know you and that might be kind of weird", so instead she resolved to pat/half hug me. As she turned around to walk out, she turned around several times to look back at me, until right before she stepped out of the door she said once more "What's your name? Because I want to tell people about this", I smiled and said again "Mary Catherine". She said, "Thank you Mary Catherine, you're a lifesaver. You don't even know, You're a life saver". 

I thought about this encounter for the rest of the day; focusing on the fact that the woman was SO SURPRISED that someone would be kind and help her out in such a small and reasonable way. Why are people surprised when we love the world?

$1.49 didn't even take me  a second to think through, it was such a feasible way to love someone. Why don't we do it more often?

Later in the day, I pulled in behind a man and his mom pumping gas into their car at the gas station;they both had to use the passenger side door to get in because it was the only door that worked. As they drove away, I saw that they only put $5.00 in their tank, I wished that I had been there sooner so I could have just suprised them by putting gas into their car; but I prayed for them as they drove away and resolved I WOULD buy gas for a stranger soon.

When I use to work at Chick-Fil-A, we use to have days where a chain would start: someone would pay for not only their food, but also the food for the car behind them. Sometimes that chain would go on for an hour, it was so beautiful. Once, one man in a car bought the food for a van full of people who he felted needed it. Another time, my dad looked in his rearview mirror to see a mother with multiple kids in a drive thru, he decided to love her by paying for her food.

The world won't care how much we know, unless they know how much we care.

"What good is it my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Suppose your brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him; ' Go I wish you well; keep warm and well fed'  but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself , if not accompanied by action, is dead"

(James 2:14-17)

de·fined /dɪˈfaɪn/ [dih-fahyn]

de·fine   /dɪˈfaɪn/ Show Spelled [dih-fahyn]
1.to explain or identify the nature or essential qualities of; describe: to define judicial functions.

2.to fix or lay down definitely; specify distinctly
3.to determine or fix the boundaries or extent of: to define property with stakes.
4.to make clear the outline or form of


you aren't defined but what you have done.
you aren't defined by what you are doing.
you aren't defined by what you will do.

hear me when I say that you don't have identify yourself with choices you've made that you feel make you inadequate. we have never been loved or defined by what we've done, nor will we ever.

"But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!" [2 cor 12:9]

you aren't trapped in your choices.
you aren't looked down upon.

we all have scarlett letters, but we don't have to bear them.
we don't have to live as a prisoner to our choices.
we don't have to live as a prisoner to our secrets.

David was called "a man after God's own heart" and yet he was the furthest from perfect. And yet, the promises of the Lord for his life didn't not falter under his choices.

Before his committing murder and adultry:
"Whatever you have in mind, go ahead and do it, for the LORD is with you." (2 Samuel 7:3)

After committing murder and adultry:
"Nathan replied to David, "Whatever you have in mind, do it, for God is with you." (1 Chron 17:2)

Our actions do not determine His. Our actions do not define us. He is sovereign & merciful because that is WHO HE IS.

“What more can I say to you? You know what your servant is really like, Sovereign Lord.  Because of your promise and according to your will, you have done all these great things and have made them known to your servant. [2  Samuel 7:20-21]

David was acknowledging that the Lord knew all he had done,and all he would do.  The promises of the Lord, the dreams He has for us and the love He gives are without reason. Our actions don't determine His.

Take some time to remember the dreams you had as a little kid. Forgive yourself and then sit back as the Ultimate Dreamer awakens those dreams & desires that were once thought to be lost within your heart.

you DO deserve the best!

101 Ways to Get a Man?

I'd like to blame GLEE  for the random times throughout the day that I'd like to break into song. This show makes it socially acceptable to break into song throughout the day, and I almost did yesterday whilst in Barnes & Noble.


Yesterday I took myself on a movie date and saw an estrogen-romance-laughter - filled film and afterwards found myself wandering through the various dating books in B&N. Just as I reached to buy yet another one of "these" type of books, I felt a strong tug in my spirit that said you don't need another book about "Christ-centered" dating.  I think that sometime people get so hungry for knowledge that they go on a binge of self-help-type-books and it seems as if all they are ever doing is buying yet another book on how to live; but here's the thing: at some point, you are going to HAVE to stop reading about your life and start actually living.  So I placed the book back on the shelf, realizing that instead of reading a book on relationships, I need to focus on my relationship with the Lord and my relationship in loving myself.


Ok, let me leave that tangent to get to the point of this....

as I was scanning the books I came across a title that flabbergasted me "101 Ways to Get and Keep His Attention". It was when I saw this title that I wanted to break out into the song from SNL "What Up With That?!" .

Is this serious?? At that moment I wished that I could have gotten ahold of every copy of that book, only to bury them all well below the Earth. Have we now as ladies scooped to the level of finding ways to manipulate men?

Seriously, what the heck have we as women become? So much of this generation of women have become manipulators, imposters of the Proverbs 31 woman, imposters of the Heart of David.

You don't need a 100 ways to get a man (or get a woman for that matter) , and what ever you have to do to get a man you will have to do to keep him. We need to become less concerned with how to attract a man and more concerned with who we are and where we stand.

Books like that hurt my heart and make me intercede for the men & women of this generations that much more desperately. I don't want to be a cheap imitation of a woman. I don't want to "get and keep a man", or Gentlemen, as books like "The Game" say, "penetrating the secret society of pick up artists". 

Don't want to be single for the rest of your life?

Then start taking care of yourselves physically. Attraction in inward as much as it is outward, so take pride in working as diligently on the outside as you are on the inside.

Stop binging on dating books or self help books and start examining all of the relationships around you to check for healthiness. Why would the Lord send you another if you aren't handling the ones you have?

Stop being in love with idea of being in love and simply start showing love to those around you.

My heart has been wrecked with all of this for the past few days, so I'm examining myself this week. I want to be a real woman, and I will marry a real man.

"She is clothed with strength and dignity,

and she laughs without fear of the future.

 When she speaks, her words are wise,

and she gives instructions with kindness."

(proverbs 31:25-26)

" I have seen a son of  Jessse of Bethlehem

who knows how to play the harp.

He is a brave man and a warrior.

He speaks well and is a fine-looking man

And the Lord is with him"

(1 samuel 16:18)